Just as I’ve thought!  My stomach ached!  Huhuhu… Now I’m home instead of the office.  Now I’m convinced that I can no longer miss a meal.  And now I’m convinced that I there’s something wrong with my digestive system.  I already took Risek, an omeprazole drug for gastrointiritis but am still not feeling well.  Huhuhu…  Now, I missed one day of work and I was on vacation last week.  I hope that somebody’s looking after my team.

The management team will be going to Alegre, Cebu on the 26th of July 2008 to get a White Belt certification for Six Sigma.  I am very excited for I will be going to see another side of Cebu.  However, I feel a bit sad for I won’t be able to post new blogs for 2 freaking days.  Huhuhu… I wonder what will do there.  Although the people who will be going there are fun to be with, the reason that we will be going there is work.  We may have some time off but I won’t be able to determine how much time off we’ll get.  I wonder how will I pass the time… Ah, I’ll just bring some books and my brother’s mp3 player since he offered to lend it to me and hmmm….  Of course my Sony k700i to satisfy the photographer side of me.  I’ll take some pictures and post it here in this site and probably write a thing or two about my experience there.  hehehe…

Yipee!!!!!!!!!!  I’m on vacation! I’ll be spending it at home though.  I have no money to spend so I can’t go anywhere.  Loser!  Next time, I should save money to pay for a trip before I go on vacation.  I’d love to go back to Vistamar or Moalboal.  You know just to smell the breeze from the sea.  And hear nothing but the sound of the waves.  Things are becoming boring for me.  All I do is eat and watch TV and I tell you it’s no fun.  I’ve been doing this since yesterday.  And I’m starting to feel guilty because I’ve eaten a whole pack of Marshmallows and a pack of Oishi Potato Chips.  Now I know why it is bad to have all the time in world but to have nothing to do.  Shoot!  This is one wasted time off from work!  But I really wanted sometime off.  I felt that I’m all burned out.  I’ve been driving myself so hard but I don’t think I’m doing well at work.  My team stats isn’t moving well.  I’m starting to feel helpless.  But how I wish I could extend my vacation ’til Wednesday.  Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why do some men ask the woman that they like if they can court her?  Didn’t it ever ocurred to them that this is such a big turn off for some women?  Asking the girl if they can court her is like asking the girl if she wants to be their girl. Why can’t they just go to the girl’s house and court her without asking for her permission? Isn’t it more romantic that way?

Personally, asking a girl if a guy can court her is like soliciting information.  It’s like the guy doesn’t want to take a risk in courting the girl. For me these men are afraid of rejection because they are looking for an assurance that they will get something out of the effort that they exerted. I do understand that time is very important to people.  And spending it on someone who will not like us is like time wasted.  However, LOVE is a gamble, a risk.  You do things for the person that you love without expecting anything back from them.  You can’t even expect the other person to love you back or love you back as much as you love them.  And besides if the girl doesn’t like you, I think the girl will tell you about it the first time that you court them. Cause hey, they wouldn’t waste your time as much as they won’t waste their time over somebody that they don’t like.  Remember the guy who wants to court me when I was in college? I told him to look for another girl on that very day that he started to court me.  Because I don’t see any reason to have him court me when I know from the start that he is not the kind of guy that I would like to spend my time with.  It may seem harsh but if you’ll think of it, I am doing both of us a favor.  I’m just being fair because if I let him court me overtime, I might agree to have him as my boyfriend not because I love him but because of the guilty feeling that I have wasted his time and because I gave him false hopes.

It’s almost 1 PM.  It’s time for me to go to sleep if I want to have a good temper later.  I really need to have at least six hours of sleep every day cause if I don’t, I can feel the stress build up and my temper becomes short.  A short temper is something that I don’t need right now.  If I want to be a good people manager, I need to be very patient with the people that I work with.

By the way, I am proud of myself today.  I was able to stop myself from buying something that I don’t need at least as of the moment.  My friend was trying to convince me to buy a flash drive and I was able to say no.

I watched a movie entitled “The Perfect Stranger”.  I’m not sure if you’ve seen it but I’m guessing that not a lot of people have seen.  It is a movie about a girl who had a conversation with Jesus Christ when she went on a trip to get away from her parents who were “nagging” her to believe in Christianity.  I’m not going to narrate the whole movie but there was this interesting part of their conversation where “Jesus” told her that he hates religion because it made things appear as rules to its believers.  Just like going to church, for some religion, it is a rule that you go to church in a certain day of the week.  For some, its Sundays while others it’s on Saturdays and etc.  For my religion it’s a Sunday.  I watched the movie on a Saturday so the next day as I was preparing to go to church, it suddenly struck me.  Hey, I don’t really have to go to church every Sunday.  God never set the rule that everybody should go to church every Sunday. The important thing is you believe in Him.  So I said to myself, I’m not going to church today.  I’ll go when I want to go.  But a little while later, I realized that things only become rules when we start to consider them as rules.  It’s like setting a rule that your black pants should be hanged on white hangers.  If you consider going to church or believing in God as a rule then it becomes a rule.  If you choose to go to church because you believe in God then that’s a completely different thing.  See this is the common mistakes of some people.  They are too religious that they tend to see the word of GOD as rules which have to be followed.  And in turn they miss out on a lot of things.  They stick to the rules of their religion that they end up making decisions that makes other people suffer.  Like for instance, there are religions that prohibit blood transfusion.  They said that blood is very sacred and we shouldn’t be putting other people’s blood into our bodies for that will impure our blood or something.  And whatever happens to us is God’s will, which is really outrageous.  Why then did God impart this knowledge to man? Why then did man discover this knowledge?  Isn’t it because God wants us to use it to preserve the life that he has given us?

Having watched the movie I realized that I too thought about the things that has to do with the church are rules.   Like the Pharisees, I looked at the bible as a book of rules. A book of what is to be done and things that we shouldn’t do.  But it is not a book of rules. It was supposed to be a declaration of God’s love to his people.  I guess this is the reason why I stopped attending the religious affiliation that my mom and used to belong to.  I wasn’t really clear about it before but now I know why.  It is because they are imposing a lot of things to their members when it shouldn’t be.  Just like setting the rule of tithe giving and the sharing of your problems.  It may good for people sharing their experiences because that will help other people in certain ways.  That will give other people ideas on how to handle situations that are similar to the situations that other people have faced.  But the imposing of tithes and rules on how a member should act in the society? No.  I don’t mind giving the tithes but you shouldn’t force people to do so.  I can understand that some people only make enough income for their needs.  We shouldn’t make other people suffer for the sake of the rules.

So now, I no longer go to church on Sundays because the people in the church said so.  That people are supposed to go to church on Sundays.  I now go to church on a Sunday because I want to offer and spend an hour of my life listening to God’s words.  Because I’m not there for the people of the church but because I believe in God and I want to spend time with him.

A lot of people are wondering why I don’t have a boyfriend yet.  Well, guess what?  I’m asking the same question myself!  At times, I stare at my reflection on the mirror and I usually like what I’m seeing.  I’m not that dumb.  I have a good paying job.  I finished school although it’s not a Bachelors Degree but I did finish school.  I’m not as stylish as the other girls but people say I’m not bad looking.  In fact they even like the way I project myself.

I don’t wear makeup but they really like my style.  People say that I am nice and that I’m a wife material since I know how to cook.  But why is it that nobody ever dared to ask me out?  I swear, I never went out on a date because nobody asked me out ever! So I’m really wondering what men think of me.  Do they see me as a tomboy?  Goodness, I know for myself that I am not a tomboy or a bi-sexual.  I’m a girl inside out I am sure of that. I’m starting to agree to what Oprah have said, “The smarter the woman gets, harder for her to find the guy that will like her,” or something like that.  So are they seeing me as this really smart woman who is hard to reach?  Am I showing them just that that they are afraid to even afraid to consider to ask me out?  Hmmm…  You know what my aunts said?  Maybe I’m a tomboy because I never had a boyfriend and it’s unbelievable that nobody is courting me.

Like duh!  Well, somebody did ask me if he can court me but I said no right then and there.  Like, why would I waste his time?  I know that the courtship wouldn’t go anywhere.  Although he isn’t bad looking, it’s just that I don’t like his attitude, his looks, and his kind of music.  In short, he’s not my type.  So why waste his time right.  Hmmm… Maybe he cursed me.  If curses are true and if he really did cursed me well he doesn’t have any right!  He should even be thankful that I told him to not continue with his plan for it will just be a waste of his time, right?

There was this guy who was a senior when I was in my freshman year in High school who winked at me in our school library. I was with my classmates then and he was staying in the same row of tables where my friends and I were staying. When we got up to go to our next class, I happened to see him and I didn’t realize that he winked at me until I had my back at him. Hmmm… Until now, I’m still wondering if he did wink at me. I was caught off guard because we weren’t close. He was a friend of my older brother and we never exchanged words. And when he goes to our house he never say anything to me. He only talks to my parents and my siblings but not me. When he went to college he studied in Manila. When he came back to our province, he passed by my parents’ shop, he barely looked at me. I wonder, was it just me or there was really something there?

Nah, I guess it was just me. Because if he really liked me then he would have asked my brother where I am now right? I mean he’s back in Samar and we never saw each other since he went back there and my brother haven’t mentioned that he even looked for me. All I heard from the people who knows him is that he’s dating a lot of girls. Well, a lot of girls will really like him now. He’s a hotshot now, established and all. So who would blame him right? If there was something in that wink before, he could have forgotten about it now. So I guess, I should forget about it and besides it could have meant nothing right?

Why oh why do we have to worry about organizing things?  Why can’t we do things when we want to do it?  Why can’t we just go anywhere we want to go?  Why do we need to schedule our activities? Why can’t people meet up whenever they want to?  Why can’t they meet up where ever they want to?  Arghhhhh… I’m getting tired of this!  How I wish things will go back the way it used to. Back when things are simple.  Back when people will plant vegetables in their back yard and hunt for food.  Back when people can afford to sit around and read books or go on trips to the hills to have a picnic.

How I wish I can have that kind of life even just for a little while, a life that will be so different from the life that I am living now where everything has to go with the schedule, a life that has too many things to do but so little time.  My life is a life that you can’t just drop things to do what you wanted to do in a spur of a moment because you have such a limited time.  Wahhhh… Why can’t I be like other people who don’t worry about anything?  Why oh why did I choose a life and a job that demands a lot and requires a lot of organizing, a life with a lot of deadlines. Why?!