Today’s my rest day and when I say rest day it means rest day.  My head’s been hurting since yesterday.  I even wonder how I survived my shift yesterday.  Tsk, tsk, tsk.  But the bad thing is, I was not able to do anything yesterday, no coaching no monits.  Bad cheetah! Now, I need to go to the office later.  Hay, I think I should hit the sack again.  I just hope I’d feel better when I wake up.

I was talking to some people the other week.  It was just a random conversation when it went to a topic about one of subordiFine, I can take any feedback forom anybody and I am glad that ssomone told e about it.  nates.  I know that I needed to walk the talk however I am puzzled on how people think and judge other people.  Apparently one of my agents said that “I told her what I wanted to be but she (referring to me) just told me that I should not be late.”  And then there was this one instant were she told another colleague that “My TL is late again.”  Fine, I admit, I get late sometimes and maybe, maybe I don’t have the right to say what I told her.  But then, what does she want me to say?  If she wants to be that someone that she wants to be, then she should work her ass off right?  And she shouldn’t let what’s going on around her affect her job.  If people are going late and she hates that, then she shouldn’t go late right? Freak!  And so I pondered on what was talked about and I  realized no matter what you do and give up will not please everybody.  That all those extended hours of work that I put in each day to make sure that everything will turn out right apparently is not enough.  All she could see are my shortcomings (which I tried so hard to overcome) and interprets my words in a negative way.  How could she?  What makes things worse is that she doesn’t tell it to my face that she has a problem with me being her supervisor.  When I ask her if she has any concerns, she would just say “nah, it’s okay.”  Tsk, tsk, tsk.  I am even sacrifing my rest days, missing the tasks that can affect my own stats just to make sure that all the things that can affect their score is well taken care of and here comes a person who is complaining about my being late.  I understand that I should be a role model and should not be late when I report to work but then, why is she the one complaining.  Shouldn’t it be my supervisor who should complain about it?  I am seldom late.  And the reason for my being late is because sometimes my body couldn’t take the long hours of work any more.  I guess AMA was right.  Because of the tasks that I am missing is affecting me personally.  It is affecting my rank as a team lead, missing a lot of my sleeping hours and missing the opportunity of watching movies. I guess it is about time that I give more time in accomplishing my tasks instead of taking care of people who are not exactly helping themselves succeed.

A guy came up to me one time (just a couple of weeks ago) and asked me what if he courts me?  Then I was thinking is this guy sober tonight or he just simply lost his sanity?  I knew that he was in a serious relationship but it was on the rocks.  A couple of days before he talked to me he had told everyone that we know that it was over.  But then if you will come to think of it, who in his right mind would consider to get into another relationship when he just ended the other one?  When he asked me that question, I really wanted to hit him in the head.  Like what does he think of me?  I mean come on…  Well yeah, maybe I will get into a relationship with him if I was head over heels in love with him but haller! I didn’t even liked the guy.  Yeah, I considered him as a friend but with that stunt, geez I don’t know.  And what’s even worse, a few days, maybe a week after that incident he moved in (?) with the girl.  Haller!!!!!!!!!!!  He reminds me of that guy who can’t even pronounce my name whom I dumped a few years back (I dumped him partly because he can’t pronounce my name. Cruel?  Nah, I had my reasons).  It was the same thing.  Guy broke up with the girl then few weeks later, came to me to ask me if he can court me though I’m not sure if that first guy got back with his ex girlfriend after that but anyhow, I just don’t know what to think. It’s like the two guys who actually had the guts to ask me the question, which by the way is something that you should never ask a girl, saw me as a replacement to their bad relationship.  I’m not sure if I should be flattered or should I be insulted by it.  But one thing is bugging me though, is this the reason why men never courted me because they don’t see me fit to be the “main” girl?  That am only good as a replacement?  If that is so, I will remain single for the rest of my life.  Like why would I get into a relationship if they think that they’re too good for me?  THWT!!!!

I went out with madam principal, the dean, the master and the teacher farrah to eat siomai yesterday near Robinson’s at Feunte, Cebu.  Everything went well.  The siomai was yummy.  I used to just eat the siomai there however, since there was no other choice, I went ahead and ate puso.  I don’t usually eat puso (rice cooked in a palm leave) for I am scared of how it was prepared, but a lot of my friends have eaten in that place so I felt confident in eating there.  But after a couple of hours, my stomach ached.  Damn it.  I won’t eat puso na.  Ever!

An uncle passed away last Saturday, November 15th 2008 and I truly regret that I was not able to see him the last time I went home.  He was ill then and yet I along with my laziness, I decided not leave early for Leyte.  If I have done so, I could have visited him in the hospital.  Two months passed and he had left his loved ones forever.  He’s the husband of an aunt, my mom’s elder sister and like most families, we do have some misunderstanding every now and then, however, this couple holds a very special place in my heart for they are some of those very few people who taught me a lot of things in life.  And I truly admire them for even if they had 15 children, they were able to provide for my cousins and even find it in their hearts to help other people who are in need.  I know that people will come and go in our lives.  Some may come back but most will leave us forever.  And so it saddens me when a person who is truly dear to my heart passes away and the worst thing is I was not able to even reach out in their time of need.  And what saddens me most is the fact that a time will come when all those who are close to me will leave me and I am scared that whatever links me and my relatives will be gone forever along with the passing of those who are dear to our hearts.

1:27 AM, November 12, 2008.  I will be going back to work in 20 hours.  Sometimes I feel excited going back to work at times, I don’t feel like woking.  Hay…  As of the moment, I don’t want to go to work.  Sheesh… But a girl has to do what a girl has to do!  And besides, if I don’t go tonight, my work will pile up, if it does, the more that I will feel not going to work anymore… Whoahhh….

I was out with a couple of friends last month when a colleague said that I am the new terror on the floor.  I kinda laughed at what he said and took it as a joke.  But after giving it some thought, I ended up asking myself, is that how my agents see me?  The thought of being the “terror” on the floor would be pleasing for some and honestly, I did find it pleasing for a moment.  Which made me feel uncomfortable for I believe that people who will find such thought are power hungry people.  People who likes to impose their position on other people.  I felt uncomfortable with the thought of me liking the idea for this that there is a possibility that I am a power hungry person.  I do not want people to fear me.  All I wanted was respect the same way as I respect other people’s individuality.  But I guess I am not sending the right message across.  An agent once told me that I am like the incarnation of her home room advisor is one of those testimonies.  So how can I make things better?  How will I let them know that what I wanted is their respect, loyalty and trust not fear?

Oh how I love it when it rains!  That is if I’m at home though.  The cool weather, the sound of the rain drops falling on the roof and stillness of the streets on a rainy day just makes me lounge around and relax.  I get to read a lot, watch movies a lot and sleep for hours.  The bad side of it though is it makes me eat a lot too.  hahaha…  When we were kids, we used to play in the rain but the best rainy day experience that I ever had is having to eat with my parents and my siblings and share a big bowl of Lucky Me Beef Noodles.  When I was growing up, I used to ask myself why do we sometimes have to make do with 2 packs of noodles when there are 6 of us.  But as I grew up, I understood why it is so.  My parents were trying to make ends meet.  And so when I got older, it didn’t bother me no more.  And for every meal that was shared there were laughter and memories built that we took with us no matter where we go.

I watched this movie a few minutes ago and I wasn’t really expecting much from the it for so far  most sequels these days come up as a disappointment.  But when I saw this movie, wow, it was far from that.  It was as good as the first one.  And it did make the characters see what they already have and learn to appreciate them.  I guess that’s what made this movie a great movie.  Everybody can truly relate to it.  You know at times we are so driven to achieve things that we at times lose sight of the things that really matters.  We get so busy with out lives that sometimes we fail to see that we are starting to drift away from the people who cares about us and the people that we truly care about.  It’s just ashame that at times, we don’t notice it until it was too late.  See we maybe or we have a Tibby, a Lena, a Bridget or a Carmen in our lives and like them we just tend to not listen to one another sometimes.