I went to sleep last night with colds and woke up this morning with my colds going worse.  And to think I will be working tonight.  How can I handle calls later?  I really hate it when I have colds and I talk on the phone.  With a clogged nose, it really is hard to talk for you can’t breath through your nose.  You have to take in air through your mouth.  I am sure most of the customers would complain that they can’t understand what I say.  Hay, may I skip work later?

I am trying to help out a friend in fixing her pc.  I thought it was already fixed after I transferred the RAM card to another slot on her Toshiba Satellite 4320.  It worked but it didn’t last long.  Sheesh…  Now I have to research on how to get it working again.  I was just disappointed though cause it went back to it’s original state.  But anyhow, I am not giving up yet.  I haven’t really drilled down on the problem yet so I am pretty confident that I will be able to resolve it…  I just hope I will be able to do it soon.

I’ve always said to myself to always look beyond the signs for they can be deceiving.  But sometimes I just don’t listen.  Now, I am here thinking if I have truly seen it or did I just interprete his actions the way that I wanted to but it wasn’t really what he meant.  It does hurt you see, but who am I to blame anyone?  I was the one who mislead myself.  It just sucks though that it will not turn out the way I hoped it would.  But life must go on.  And besides, there is a higher possibility that I can keep one of the most important things in this world.  I might be able to keep a friend.

It has been awhile since I came down this route.  I guess along the way, I lost my liking on writing.  Some stuff happened along the way and made me think that I don’t want to write anymore.  I was feeling really low these past few months and wasn’t really in the mood of talking and stuff.  All these time all I wanted was to get away.  Talk to noone.  Stay home and sleep.  I did some freelance writing, rewriting articles.  Not really about writing what’s on your mind.  The articles was about wrestling and making movie reviews.  I did it for two months but I realized the time that I spent on writing it is not really worth it.  Well for one the pay isn’t that good and I did not enjoy.  It was the not enjoying it and the time that I needed to put into one article are the reasons that gave bigger impact on my decision to call it quits.  It consumed too much of my time that I can no longer do some things that I needed and wanted to do during my rest days.  Then came recent events and the reservation of not sharing what’s on my mind came back so I no longer want to write what’s going on in my life.  I guess you could say I went back to my shut the world out of my life state.  But I guess when you started to like something, it will eventually come back to you.  It seems that I missed writing on this blog.  Writing down what I wanted to say and share it with other people.  Although it’s not a guarantee that I will be writing everything down but atleast, I will be writing again.

I was really hoping to get a leave tomorrow but my supervisor said no.  Although she didn’t say it directly, I just felt bad for I seldom asks for something and yet I got turned down because some of the folks are going into training.  Times like these, I do feel bad for it’s like am I the only one who has to give way to everyone else?  Well, yeah, I guess am complaining right now.  I know how the business works but can’t I at least be able to get something that I want every now and then.  Yes I was able to get a leave last Saturday and it was like instant only because nobody else is having a leave that day.  You know it would really make a difference to placed on priority sometimes.  You know get a leave not because noone’s applying for it or get a project not because everyone else is busy.  I mean yes maybe my team isn’t as performing as everyone elses but that doesn’t mean my team is not doing what they can to achieve their goals and that also doesn’t mean that I am not doing my job.  I don’t have to say what I do to have these guys pass their metrics legally for that’s my job, but then just a little credit though.  All I ask is a little credit to what we do as a team and a little credit to what I do.  That’s it.

Monday is the last day of work for me for this week.  I will be taking my RD today and tomorrow then I will be on leave until Saturday.  It’s holy week and I don’t know what to do.  I do want to go and do “bisita iglesia”, a tradition where a Christian Catholic visits 7 churches and do the Way of the Cross, however, I’m kinda short.  Am still experiencing the financial aftermath of my chicken pox, as if the scars were not enough to remind me about it. 

Anyway, I don’t know what happened but it seems I’m into the volunteer thingy right now.  I have filed for a leave for April 19th to help out with the tree planting activity of the company.  My friends even asked me what got into me and I’m taking the subject seriously?  My answer?  I really don’t know.  I guess I realized that I should do my responsibilities to the community that I am in now.  The house building project is one way of giving back to the society and the tree planting activity is a way of giving back to the environment.  I just hope that more and more people will give at least an hour of their lives in doing even the smallest of things for their society.  Small things like turning the lights off when noone’s using them, proper garbage disposal (like throwing your trash into the garbage cans) and etc.  These things may not seem much but if each and everyone of us will do it and combine it all together… Man! It will definitely mean a difference!

I saw the latest ad of a local politician (I purposely omitted his name so that this will not benefit him in any way) and I really hated him!  The showed a kid who drives a tricycle as a way to earn and dreams of becoming a and whose sister dreams to become an actress.  He is like all other politicians who use poor people for their campaigns.  And much worse, he used kids in the ad.  And it’s not the campaign period yet!  How can these people find time in doing these things.  Don’t we have things that needs to be done in the Congress and the Senate.  How can he say the people are not alone in the sufferings that they’re facing each day?  And how can he say he understands how these people feel?  He doesn’t even go to such places, unless of course if it’s the time of elections.  Hyproctite!

I was a bit confused these passed few days.  I think I was falling for a guy and I just couldn’t understand why.  I have seen him a couple of times, we even rode the elevator just the two of us from the 12th floor to the ground level without saying a word to one another even though we worked for the same company and I don’t even look his way when he is around.  So I was asking myself how is it that I felt what I felt just now?  Is it because the feeling was developed or was it because it was only now that I accepted the fact that finally I fell for a guy who is within reach?  But what really confused me is that I have seen things that I don’t like about him.  For one he is “maangas”, “feeling” and a show-off.  Things that I don’t like in a person but how come I felt what I felt?  Last Friday, I felt nervous and edgy so I stepped out of the floor and texted my family about how they’re doing and decided to go the pantry while waiting for them to text me back and I saw him there.  But I was surprised for the nervousness and the edginess had vanished.  So was it his presence who took it all away or was it because I was surprised to see him there?  Well, I got to admit that after working with him for a couple of hours, I did feel something weird and I’d say I was hoping to see him again.  Whoahhh!!!  But really, I can’t fall for this guy.  He is not the guy that I want to be with.  Even a colleague of mine who was unware of how I felt for him and was with us during that short project said that I do not have a taste when it comes to men if I fall for his type (nope, he’s not ugly).  Sheesh!

I was going through the web the other day and I decided to pass by my ultimate crush’s multiply account.  And then I saw his pictures during the Sinulog festival last January.  I browsed through the pictures and then it hit me!  I realized, we really aren’t meant to be.  I mean we were already in one city and yet we didn’t bump into one another.  And the funny thing is, I had made it a promise to myself that I will always attend the Sinulog as a “Panata” (I’ve been attending it for like 3 years in a row) but I decided to stay home this year.  What could be the possible reason then?  It’s obvious right?  The universe does not want us to meet.  I think it doesn’t even want me to get a glance of him in person.  You know I was even in the same spot last year.  The same spot where he stayed and took pictures because it was near Miss Paula’s house .  Tsk, tsk, tsk… You know it’s such a waste that we aren’t meant to be.  Because we do have some things in common like traveling and our passion in taking pictures.  I could have given him a tip or two on taking pictures. Tsk, tsk, tsk… What a waste… Hehehe…